In the Introduction to this book, I said that all human behavior is the product of the attempt by the individual to preserve the survival of his or her DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him or her. Now let me take a moment to impress upon you what “all human behavior” really means.
In the last book, every single story I told was a story about people attempting to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable to them. In every story, somebody made a choice about something, and they always made the choice that they perceived to be the most beneficial. Well that benefit always refers to the preservation of their DNA in one way or another.
As my grandmother taught my dad and his brothers and sisters, not so much in words, but in the way she lived her life and the examples she set for them in dealing with other people: Always assume that everyone is always doing the best they can to try to provide for their needs. And as I showed you in the last book, the needs people feel always relate to the preservation of their DNA.
Another way to look at it is: People always make whatever decisions seem to them to offer them the best chance of success at their goals, within their decision-making environments. The person’s decision-making environment consists of their abilities, skills, resources, personal history, and cultural background. Those five basic things include the person’s personality, the person’s emotional state, available information, opportunities, liabilities, and the perception of other people’s present and future actions. The goal is always survival and reproduction—in other words, the preservation of their DNA.
The woman who gets beaten but doesn’t dare to leave her husband has Thomas Jefferson’s definition of Greek animal happiness because she’s preserving the survival of her DNA by the most effective means perceivable to her. She doesn’t have Greek human happiness, because she can imagine better outcomes for herself, but she can’t perceive a way to make any of those outcomes happen.
The post-apocalyptic raven who went on collecting shiny things even though he didn’t need them any more to attract a mate was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him. His perceptions were created by his genetic instincts, and even though he didn’t need them to preserve the survival of his DNA anymore, the perceptions remained.
The cat that ran from the dog instead of standing and fighting was preserving the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him, because he knew he couldn’t beat the dog.
The man who built his house on the sand and the man who built his house on a rock were each attempting to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable to them. They each had different perceptions of the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. One did the job as easily as he could, and the other worked hard to produce long-lasting results. In the end, one approach paid off better than the other.
The heroes of the vanilla ice cream civil rights movement attempted to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable to them, but so did the chocolate-eating majority who founded the chocolate ice cream totalitarian society in the first place. At first, each felt threatened by the other. The chocolate eating majority had the advantage of numbers on their side, so all they had to do to get their way was to oppress the vanilla-eating minority. To preserve the survival of their own DNA, the vanilla-eating minority had to figure out a way they could fight back against the chocolate eating majority and win. To do that, first they got over their fear of chocolate ice cream, and then they figured out a new strategy and outwitted the chocolate eating majority.
Those people ate chocolate or vanilla ice cream in the first place because they perceived one or the other to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. It probably didn’t make a difference, but that’s what each group perceived. At its most fundamental level, people prefer the taste of one flavor of ice cream over another as a result of the chemical makeups of their bodies. The people who preferred chocolate perceived themselves to need some chemical that was contained in the chocolate more than they needed any of the chemicals contained in the vanilla, and vice versa for the people who preferred vanilla. The taste of the chocolate or vanilla alerted the people to the presence of the chemicals they needed. But if the ice cream was artificially flavored, the chemicals that gave the ice cream its taste had been separated from the other chemicals in natural chocolate (cocoa beans, in other words). That means that the taste alerting people to the presence of the chemicals their bodies need is a complete sensory illusion now. People choose their preferences in ice cream based on which sensory illusion they prefer. That means that the entire struggle between the chocolate-eating oppressors and the vanilla ice cream civil rights activists was a struggle between political forces that had been built up around illusions. The people on each side were arguing about whose illusion was better than whose. As far as actual physical reality was concerned, the entire struggle between the chocolate-eating oppressors and the vanilla-eating revolutionaries was completely meaningless.
The man who walked through the forest with the grizzly bears and ran at the first sign of anything that could indicate the presence of a grizzly bear was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him. The deer walking through the same forest didn’t run until he saw the grizzly bear. The man and the deer had different mental abilities, which gave the man an advantage in perceiving the situation. The deer survived by being able to run as fast as the bear. The man survived by knowing that he couldn’t run as fast as the bear and running at the first sign of anything that could mean a bear was coming, whether it was actually a bear or not.
People in movies and in real life become singers, dancers, artists, doctors, adventurers, athletes, whatever, in spite of whatever obstacles stand in their way, because they perceive pursuing their interests, putting their abilities to use, and fulfilling their ambitions to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA.
Nancy Kerrigan ice skates because she perceives that to offer her the most effective means of preserving the survival of her DNA, even if she gets clubbed in the knee by an ice rink a dozen times a day.
J. Guitar spent the six dollars in his pocket on guitar strings instead of food because he perceived that to offer him the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. It paid off in the end, because White Zombie kicked ass and sold two gold albums.
Gangstas blow each other away to defend their reputations because they perceive that to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. If your reputation is the most important thing you have in life, and the thing you depend on the most to help you survive and reproduce, you don’t have a whole lot of choice but to defend it to the death.
The Hatfields and McCoys killed each other by the dozens over a pig because they all perceived that to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. They had to defend their reputations too—or at least, they perceived that they did.
Now for my favorite, my Celtic ancestors painted their faces blue, stripped naked, picked up their shilleghlahs, screamed bloody murder, and charged across fields at legions of heavily armed Roman centurions because they perceived that to be the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. They believed in reincarnation, so they didn’t perceive Roman swords, spears, or arrows to be a threat to their survival.
And for my other favorite, the heavily armed Roman centurions ran away from my blue-faced Celtic ancestors like a bunch of little girls because they perceived that to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. (And they were right!)
That mechanic saved my toaster for me and the girl gave it to me when I came back to the shop three months later because they perceived that to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. They were probably both Mormons, so they probably don’t even believe in DNA, but they had superlative community values nonetheless.
The ancient young proto-humans carried their dead friend back to their camp and asked the wise old proto-human what happened to him because they perceived that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. They suddenly perceived a new threat to the survival of their DNA, so they were trying to figure out what to do about it.
The wise old proto-human in the camp figured out something to tell them because he perceived that to offer him the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. The young people of his tribe were afraid and he didn’t know what to do about it, so he had to think of something.
Even that creepy family who ignored everyone else’s morals and ate their dead dog instead of letting the fresh meat go to waste did so because they perceived that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. They didn’t share their neighbors’ morals, so they perceived the situation differently.
The Wari people of the jungles of the Amazon, who teach their people the important moral distinction that they are allowed to eat people from other tribes but they aren’t allowed to eat people from their own tribes, make that distinction because they perceive that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA.
Mr. Rogers taught children to be nice to each other because he perceived that to offer him the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. If everyone treated each other the way people treat each other on Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood, nobody’s DNA would be threatened.
All those other people who cash in on lucrative business opportunities and fill the world up with military industrial complexes and prison industrial complexes and legal industrial complexes and medical industrial complexes and cigarettes and nuclear weapons and chocolate ice cream do those things because they perceive them to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. They make lots of Glorious Money out of the deal.
Western imperialists globalize the American Dream and pave over everyone else’s cultures with Wal-Marts and McDonald’s because they perceive that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. It’s the old Glorious Cha-Ching-Cha-Ching again.
And I guess I should add that terrorists crash airplanes into buildings because they perceive that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. If they believe that they’re going to get 72 virgins in the afterlife who’ll keep them company for the rest of eternity, then somebody has taught them to perceive that killing themselves will offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA that they can possibly imagine.
The Mesopotamians over-hunted their local gazelle herds and then later began planting their own food because at the times they made those choices, they perceived each of them to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. Both times, they were producing calories of food energy as efficiently as possible.
Zhu Di, Third Emperor of the Ming Dynasty, sent Zheng He out to sail the oceans because he perceived that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. The Chinese learned more about their surroundings that way, met people, and established new trade relations. And Zhu Di won a lot of social status for both himself and for China.
Zhu Gaozhi, Fourth Emperor of the Ming Dynasty, put an end to Chinese exploration because he perceived that choice to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. All that ocean voyaging took up a lot of people and ships. Was it really worth it?
Sequoyah, the Cherokee blacksmith, invented the Cherokee syllabary all by himself because he perceived that to offer him the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. As we all know, literate societies can do a lot of things pre-literate societies can’t
Andrew Jackson sent 14,000 Cherokee marching 1,200 miles on foot in the dead of winter because he perceived that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. One way to preserve the survival of your DNA is to colonize new land and claim all the natural resources on it, and another is to kill all the people who lived on that land or else move them so far away from you and your civilization that even if they try to fight back it won’t do them any good.
That big bad wolf came charging up behind you sitting at the fire with the Inuit hunters eating your caribou meat because he perceived that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. The servile wolf who carried the ancestral man’s-best-friend genes slinked up to the fire and looked up at the hunters with big round friendly eyes because he perceived that to offer him the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. Both wolves perceived their courses of actions to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA because their genes gave them different personalities, and with them, different perceptions. One wolf got adopted, and the other got a spear through his throat.
Then the Inuit hunters domesticated the friendly wolves and started building dog sleds because they perceived that doing those things offered them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. People with dogsleds can do things that people without dogsleds can’t.
Those 20 people who were locked in the factory room and instructed to manufacture a certain number of their products by a certain deadline on pain of death organized themselves into the most efficient work force they could think of in order to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable. If no one in the room had a clear advantage in skills or abilities relating to the manufacturing process, they began resorting to other means of constructing a social hierarchy, even though the perceptions they were basing their unskilled workforce hierarchy on were completely irrelevant to the project at hand. But if the least charismatic person among them was the only person who had experience at the manufacturing process, suddenly they all perceived that the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA was to appoint him leader.
My former roommate the New Age game show host moved to Phoenix and became a shiny happy religious fundamentalist because she perceived that to offer her the most effective means of preserving the survival of her DNA. Why bother even attempting to lead an environmentally sustainable lifestyle when you can just move out to the suburbs, become a New-Age yuppie, wait around for supernatural powers to save the day, and call that spiritual enlightenment? Although to her credit, she had a really sh*tty childhood, and the emotional damage she suffered and will carry with her for the rest of her life severely warped her perception of the world. Her parents raised her to be a good little middle class girl, and now just like the rest of the voting majority of Americans, an environmentally suicidal lifestyle is the only life she’s ever known. (Oops, sorry, I guess I got a little carried away there. Two years I’ve been trying to get people to listen to me now, while the world’s situation continues to deteriorate, just like I knew it would. Anyway, where was I?…)
Pilots kill themselves in graveyard spirals every year because they perceive that trying to pull more lift out of their aircraft offers them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA, because they don’t realize the mistake they’re making until it’s too late. Their perceptions of the world get thrown off because they fly into low visibility conditions and get into gradual turns without realizing it. So when they act upon what they perceive to be the best courses of action for dealing with their situations without realizing that their perceptions have been thrown off, their decisions end up killing them.
That World War II pilot who landed on the runway that had been shelled by artillery and had the wreckage of an airplane lying in the middle of it, just so he could rescue three Americans who were stranded and under attack, did everything he did because he perceived that to offer the most effective means of preserving the survival of his DNA. In the most immediate sense, he was probably wrong, which is why all the other pilots were retreating from the Japanese attack, instead of flying back into it. However, in a broader sense, the pilot was right, because he set an example of heroism for his fellow military service personnel. Even if he’d been killed in the attempt, but 1,000 of his comrades each fought 1% harder as a result, in terms of winning the war and keeping his wife, children, brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, and nephews safe, he was right. For whatever reason he made the attempt, he perceived the situation differently than did his fellow pilots, which led him to act differently. Genetic variation, and variation in general, helps species survive by producing members who are equipped to deal well with different situations, and this is an example of that.
The people who decided to award the pilot with the Medal of Honor made that decision because they perceived it to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA.
The other pilots acted in the way that was most effective to preserving the survival of their DNA under the conditions they lived in most of the time. The war was not the condition the pilots lived in most of the time, so that change in situation made another type of behavior most appropriate. The heroism variation that this heroic pilot had that all the other pilots didn’t was precisely the type of variation that was needed in fighting a war. The people who awarded him the medal changed the situation even further in the direction of making heroism the most appropriate course of action, by helping the pilot preserve the survival of his own DNA by giving him special recognition for his heroism, and by making the other pilots perceive that heroism offered an extra benefit the survival of their DNA also.
When that tribe of people knew they were going to be walking through the forest where the grizzly bears lived and performed the elaborate grizzly bear ritual to prepare themselves for it, they were acting upon what they perceived to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA.
When those two bored cartoon characters were sitting on their old couch watching music videos and one turned to the other and said, “This sucks,” he was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable. It doesn’t even matter that he was a cartoon character who doesn’t have DNA. You were able to understand why he was saying what he was saying because if you heard a person say that in real life, they would be attempting to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable. In this case, he was helping to preserve the integrity of his interpersonal tribe.
When I cried for three hours about my mother cutting my whole sandwich in half, I was attempting to preserve the survival of my DNA by the most effective means perceivable to me. I was using my instinctive emotional communication to try to get her to make me another sandwich so I could use my abilities to their fullest potential in making a life for myself and earn social status out of the deal. My mother didn’t do it though, because I was 3 and she was 32, so she realized that eating a whole sandwich wasn’t nearly as important as I perceived it to be. She perceived that making me another sandwich would jeopardize the survival of her DNA, because I’d grow up to be a spoiled brat. And she was probably right.
When I spent two hours climbing half a city block along that Addams’ Family wrought iron fence outside the abbey, I did it because I perceived that to offer me the most effective means of preserving the survival of my DNA. My mother let me do it because she perceived it to offer her the most effective means of preserving the survival of her DNA, because it would help me grow up to believe that I could succeed at anything I set my mind to, if I was willing to work hard enough and long enough at it. Once again she was probably right.
Hell, I’m not even half way through the book yet…
Okay, when my grandparents abandoned the rat race in southern California and moved away to the Redwoods where they liked to vacation, they were attempting to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable to them. They liked going to the Redwoods, so they decided they should live there all the time.
When my dad dropped out of college and set out to see what there was to see in America, he was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable. That’s how he met my mom, so I guess it paid off.
When my mom moved away from the coastal fishing village where she’d lived in Maine and set out to see what there was to see in America… oh, never mind, you already know how that story turns out.
When my brother decided not to pursue a career as an artist and instead moved to Colorado to be a wise old hermit who lives on a mountaintop, he was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable. Just like my grandparents, he moved to where he most wanted to be and did what he most wanted to do.
When I didn’t get up and go watch the teacher and the principal break up the fight outside, like all the other kids in my classroom did, I was attempting to preserve the survival of my DNA by the most effective means perceivable. It worked out in a way, because they all got into trouble and I didn’t.
When my dad figured out how to diffuse the riot by singing Give Peace a Chance, he was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him.
The people who were trying to start the riot were trying to start it because they perceived fighting against the war to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. All the people who were reluctantly joining in the riot were attempting to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable to them, because they all wanted to help stop the war, and this seemed to be how was going to be done. But when my dad offered them an alternative, they joined him instantly, because now they perceived a way to protest the war that wasn’t going to get them beaten up and arrested.
When I sat there in my battered Starbuck’s chair on New Year’s Eve, watching 50 riot police marching straight at me, I was attempting to preserve the survival of my DNA by the most effective means perceivable to me. This was something I’d never seen before, and it might offer me the opportunity of a lifetime. I was sure to see something that all the people who were backing away from the cops were never going to witness.
Then when the riot police parted before me like the Red Sea, they were attempting to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable to them. I was just one person sitting there minding my own business, and there were hundreds of people to either side of me.
Then when the one cop came over and shoved the mace can in my face and shouted, “You! Get the f*ck out of the square! Now!” he was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him. If he could beat me into submission with all that emotional aggression, that would be the easiest way to get me out of the square. But by trying to impress me by acting like a savage with a badge and a gun, it didn’t pay off in the long run quite the way he was hoping.
And when I put up my hands and calmly walked away, I was preserving the survival of my DNA by the most effective means perceivable to me. There was a savage with a badge and a gun shoving a mace can in my face, after all. But that was okay, I’d learned something new from my adventure, and I could put it to good use, so my mission had been a success…
When my dad put out the fire in my brother’s room, he was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him. When he went back to the kitchen, hung up the fire extinguisher, and went back to his game, again he was attempting to preserve the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him. The fire was out, the house was safe, and my brother wasn’t there to tell about it, so my dad didn’t perceive anything else that needed to be done besides going back to what he was doing. When my brother came home, my parents didn’t lose their tempers because they perceived that not losing their tempers offered them a more effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA than losing their tempers. Once again, they were probably right, because they were setting examples for my brother, and he grew up to be a level headed guy, instead of an emotional crybaby who worried about useless things all the time. And he preserved the survival of his DNA by the most effective means perceivable to him by cleaning up the mess and not making that mistake again.
Now I’m telling you all this because I perceive this to be the most effective means of preserving the survival of my DNA. If you learn something from this and it helps you makes sense of the world and be a more emotionally healthy person, that will make my community function better. The better my community functions, the less taxes I have to pay for police and jails, the less I have to worry about you drinking and driving, or getting addicted to crack and mugging me, etc., etc..
(And just for the record, “a community that works well” isn’t synonymous with “a community where everyone follows all the currently existing laws”. “A community that works well” is one where people don’t perpetually threaten each other, live in fear of each other, and feel like they have to kill or be killed. In general, when that starts happening in communities, people start passing more laws and hiring more police and having to pay more taxes. On the other hand, “making a community work better” also means getting rid of laws that don’t serve any purpose and nobody wants to follow and don’t do anybody any good except for the police and lawyers and prison guards who get jobs out of the deal. If laws are just implements by which people threaten each other and make each other live in fear and feel like they have to kill or be killed, that just makes society function worse. And then they start hiring more police and passing more laws and building more prisons and raising taxes to try to clean up the mess… Oh, but I’m getting ahead of myself again…)
Well that’s it. The end of the story. If you want me to retell the entire first book in terms of individuals attempting to preserve the survival of their DNA by the most effective means perceivable to them, too bad. Do it yourself!
Oh, and by the way, my whole reason for writing this section was to show how easy this is to do. Any time you see anyone make any decision, whether it’s in real life or on TV or in the movies or in a novel or in a stage play or anywhere else, the person is always making that decision because they perceive it to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA. That means that in order to understand why they made the decision they made, all you have to do is to use what you know about human behavior to decipher why they perceive that choice to offer them the most effective means of preserving the survival of their DNA.
Filed under: x: 42 Vol. II by Ezra
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